Personal Failures:
<sub>Sir Jock Stirrup says:
FINE!
... :]
insert alias here . says:
[:
my smilies are cuter
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
THAT'S 'CAUSE YOUR EYES ARE SPACIER
insert alias here . says:
IS THAT A RACIST CMNT?
SCREW YOU ;-;
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
NO
I MEANT
...
insert alias here . says:
YOU FAIL
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
COMPARE THE EYES OF YOUR :] AND MY :]
ALTHOUGH
HONESTLY
I WAS PLANNING TO SAY "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY 'YOUR EYES ARE BIGGER THAN MINE' TO AN ASIAN!"
But I decided against it
UNTIL YOU ACCUSED ME OF SAYING SOMETHING RAY-SIST
insert alias here . says:
RACIST COMMENTS
REPORT THIS USER FOR ABUSE LOLOLOL
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
I'LL REPORT YOU FOR HAVING AN AXE WOUND.
*VAGINA
insert alias here . says:
how the hell
does the word vagina
fit into that
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
...
I meant to say vagina, not axe wound.
insert alias here . says:
-knees you while youre distracted-
Sir Jock Stirrup says:
I OFTEN GET THE TWO CONFUSED.
insert alias here . says:
You fail oftenly, don't you ?


I've actually heard the song "Love in This Club" so many times, my wet dreams are in public places.</sub>



Quotes from bash.org
<sub><Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.


<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C: Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder


<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad


<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.


<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?


<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall


< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.


<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.


omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests


<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.


<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.


<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
< phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances xD-<
* nmp3bot dances xD|-<
* nmp3bot dances xD/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet


t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right


<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
< PeteRepeat> fucking ken
< PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
< PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
< PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was


<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<


<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me


<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER


<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language


<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)


<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker


<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID


<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat


<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.


<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard</sub>

For more lolz, go find the LolCorner.
(I tried to choose quotes NOT from dA,
but I have no idea where they're all actually from.)
andlolmyfavoritequoteisinmylastjournal

Lol I shall be updating..
I just need a place to put all this funny shit.

<sub><Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...


<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.


Drahmen: I unbutton your blouse and start to massage your brest.
Higgs23: I moan and start to undo your pants.
Drahmen: Wait a minute...This is the wrong window.
Higgs23: I noticed.
Drahmen: WTF dude?
Higgs23: I felt like playing along.


< Pbob> you know what would be awesome
< Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower
< Pbob> And then gas them
< Pbob> With that funny voice stuff
< Pbob> HAHA
< Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy cartoon charatcers


Reelr123: whats up
k8 z swimmer: who are you?
Reelr123: you dont remember?
k8 z swimmer: nope
Reelr123: i m bummed
k8 z swimmer: clay?
Reelr123: nope
k8 z swimmer: ooool
k8 z swimmer: k
k8 z swimmer: so who the heck are ya
Reelr123: its me
Reelr123: guess
Reelr123: i have admired you for a long time
k8zswimmer: Who are you?
Reelr123: i have known u for a long time
k8zswimmer: way to freak me out yo
Reelr123: I love you more then the world
k8zswimmer: tmi.... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!
Reelr123: I know exactly what u r doing as we speak. And you better get to bed right this instant
Reelr123: or u r grounded from the computer
k8zswimmer: MOM?!?


<sick-rdi> ive seen a vagina
<BlAkEaGe> Yeah.. porn.
<sick-rdi> ive actually licked and sucked on one
<BlAkEaGe> Don't lick your screen, it'll fuck it up.


<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what?


JimBob2814: I actually tried Superman 64
JimBob2814: yes, it is.
Rawlsaur: Is it actually as bad as they say?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: no, you're just predictable
Rawlsaur: Are you psychic or something?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: NO I WON'T
Rawlsaur: STOP DOING THAT!
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: haha


<Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!
<Snipa> what?
<Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked, and now i have
to get tested for aids.
<Snipa> Think positive
<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny


<Tarage> I hate to update to things, they always make it worse
<@Ixnorp> you're too pessimistic. I bet that if you jumped off a building
you would expect to land in a truck full of pillows
<anorexic_poodle> wouldnt that make it optimistic
<@Ixnorp> no, because he would have failed to kill himself


<Anime-Sama> While most people ask themselves "WWJD" (What Would Jesus Do),
I've decided to turn to the more appropriate "WTGML," which is an acronym for
"Will This Get Me Laid."</sub>